Everything You Need to Know About Dating Older Women
Should you consider dating older women? Celebrities such as Ryan Gosling and Hugh Jackman, among others, have found love and fulfillment in relationships with older women.
It brings the old adage 'Age is just a number' into perspective, especially when you feel a spark with someone older.
This article is your guide to dating older women, covering everything from societal perceptions to practical dating tips. Before you pursue a relationship with an older woman, give this piece a thorough read.
Why Dating an Older Woman is Better
Did you know that a recent study found out that 34% of women over 40 are dating younger men? But we’re not writing this article to delineate the reasons why older women choose to date young men. We’re here to describe why it might be better to date an older woman than to date the same age. Here’s a rundown:
Older women know what they want.
From the beginning of the relationship, an older woman already has a strong idea of what she wants in life. She knows that she doesn’t need the help of a man to reach her bigger goals. While younger ladies want to explore the world and participate in the drama of relationships, older women focus all their energy on improving their lives. Younger men who want less drama from doing guesswork in their relationship will find a better experience dating an older woman.
Older women are more emotionally mature.
Older women have had enough experience to know how to control their emotions and behavior in certain situations. Younger women tend to like the drama, especially when it comes to boy problems. Older women, well, they just had it with the drama and would rather waste their time doing something else. Older women are still affectionate and playful, and they can also be childish (in a cute way) inside because no matter how independent they are, they still crave your care.
Older women will make you see things from a different perspective.
Older women have more experience treading in the course of life, dating, and relationships. Their experiences have given them wisdom about these topics. Older women can help you grow and mature at higher levels, and they can show you your potential of achieving great things. She’s literally been there, done that. So she can show you the way, considering your feelings as well. Not only that, but more likely, she will motivate you to achieve bigger goals in life.
Older women are confident and independent.
Older women are done with their phase of seeking attention and approval from the people who surround them. They have learned how to be comfortable in their own skin, and she has already proven herself worthy for all her success. Most of the younger women are still starting to figure out what they want – and they will depend on you to be their rock. If you want to focus on yourself but have a partner who motivates you, it’s better to date an older woman who is independent and doesn’t need much of your attention.
Older women are more financially stable.
Most older women have already established careers and have a strong sense of responsibility for their finances. So, you wouldn’t need to worry about paying for dates (though you should still pay or offer to pay from time to time). Still, it’s better not to have a looming cloud of being financially broke.
Older women are caring, and their children have left the nest.
Most older women have children who are old enough to move out. Because they have children, these women have motherly characteristics which younger boys seek. Many younger men need the emotional and mental support that only an older woman can give. Plus, a bonus is that men who don’t want the responsibility of raising children can get the love and affection from an older woman who already has grown kids.
This last point is controversial – men who want to date older women because of support have a tendency to have a “mommy syndrome” where he needs a woman to do everything for him. Most older women are not up for this as they will see it as having to raise their kid all over again.
The Stigma of Dating an Older Woman
We cannot deny that there is a stigma surrounding dating an older woman. The most popular one is that the younger man is dating for money or security (aka getting a sugar mommy). While this still happens in today’s time, there are still younger men who are honestly attracted to older women and genuinely want a relationship.
Another stigma is, it has been said that older women, when dating younger men, tend to treat them like their “boy-toy”. This may have been brought upon society by the influence of TV shows. It has been common in movies and tv shows to portray sexy, empowered, older women with cougar tendencies – preying or treating gorgeous younger boys as
their new sex toy. Yes, this situation also happens in real life, especially for women who are more educated in a better occupation class. But again, there are older women and younger men who thrive in a genuine relationship.
Dating an older woman is said to go against societal expectations and violates social norms. Some people lay judgmental eyes when they see a couple with a noticeable age gap. Our advice? Don’t let these bitter people affect what you have good going on.
Where to Date Older Women
Head on over to the nearest Pilates studio and take your pick. No, we’re just kidding. Finding older women to date is just the same as when you’re looking for a woman your age to date. There is isn’t a place where single older women hang out waiting to be hit on by cute younger men. Trust us, you could meet the one anywhere if it’s meant to be.
However, if you really must find a place where your need to find an older woman to date has to be accommodated, here’s the best place to go to:
Older Women Dating Sites
Some niche dating sites and apps cater to dating older singles like SilverSingles.
These dating sites may be strict regarding registration – only women and men above a certain age can sign-up.
As with mainstream dating sites, older women dating sites also fall into other subcategories. There are dating sites like Ourtime for serious relationships with older singles; there are also those that offer casual encounters with older singles. There are also cougar dating sites that have older women adult content.
It ultimately depends on what you’re looking for, so before you sign up on an older women dating platform, check our Cougar Dating reviews first!
Tips for Dating an Older Woman
Dating an older woman is the same as dating a woman your age. The same rules apply, such as respecting the lady, asking for consent, being kind, and so forth. The only difference is the age gap – you want to date someone who has years of experience ahead of you. With that, here are five tips for dating an older woman:
1. Don’t focus on the age gap.
Dating an older woman means that that woman knows she is dating a younger man. Both of you are aware of the age gap, so there’s no point in reminding each other of your age difference. She already knows she’s older than you – don’t state the obvious. Just date her like how you would date a person of the same age.
Another thing NOT to do is to label her as a ‘cougar’ – this term is offensive.
2. Don’t treat her like your mom.
When dating an older woman, you have to treat her with respect, not as your mom or your mom’s friend, but as someone you are romantically involved with. Don’t go to her to vent out all your problems and seek advice, especially if you’re still at the early stages of dating and have not committed to each other yet. Don’t seek her for life mentorship – you are not dating her to keep you guided and grounded. Most of all, don’t ask her to cook for you, do your laundry, and pay for your tuition – she is not your mom.
3. Know what she wants from the start.
Of course, you would not want to be played or get your heartbroken from a relationship. So, before you decide to take it to the next step, be clear if your woman wants a casual or a serious relationship. There are older women (especially those that are married) who date younger men because they’re bored (it happens). You wouldn’t want to be blindsided down the road, would you?
4. Be assertive but don’t rush her into sexual intimacy.
Assertiveness is sexy, and it shows maturity for your age. A man bold enough to knows what he wants and shows that
he isn’t afraid of getting it is a characteristic most older women find attractive.Even if she’s older, you can still lead the relationship – most women who date younger guys will appreciate it.
5. Don’t be intimidated
Sometimes, it can be intimidating to date a woman who has far more experience than you when it comes to dating, sex, and life in general. Instead of trying so hard or hiding from the truth, it’s best to be honest with your partner about the things you don’t know much about. It’s a fact that your woman knows more than you do. You should accept that hard truth and try to learn what she knows without getting intimidated by it.
Final Words
It’s normal to be attracted to older women – they’re independent, beautiful, and confident in their own skin – there’s nothing wrong with that! But before you decide to date her, we hope that you’ll keep in mind all the things you’ve read on this page. Remember not to be afraid of what other people might think or say – just stay true to your heart and who you are. It’s your life, anyway!
If you’re ready to meet older ladies, don’t forget to browse older women profiles from the best CougarDating sites.
Founder of Datingscout and Author of the book "Online Dating for Dummies"